|The Five-Year Engagment
"The Five-Year Engagement" is the kind of movie you'd walk out of on a plane. You'd have to go a ways back in romcom history to find a more mismatched pair than schlubby Jason Segel and (upper-)crusty Emily Blunt. They're trapped in a movie of cringe-inducing vulgarity and meanness in which nobody behaves remotely like a human being. And that's just the half hour we made it through.
Somewhat better, but still not worth recommending, is the Jason Statham thriller "Safe," which manages to be unintentionally offensive to just about every minority group in New York, but keeps the bullets flying without pause for thought - or chitchat. Statham's not my idea of a movie star, but his flick is short enough and has just enough humor to get by - and when the little girl took out a bad guy at the end, the dude behind me told his buddy, "Aw, man, that was tight."