The Worst Films of 2012

Before we get to the very worst film of 2012, here (listed in alphabetical order) are seventeen dishonorable mentions, a cinematic Hall of Shame:

Stand Up Guys

Having flamed out as the world’s unlikeliest leading man after the “Short Circuit” series, Fisher Stevens scoots over to the director’s chair for the far worse “Stand Up Guys,” 95 minutes of dead air that’s as torturous to sit through as the cast list (Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin) would lead you to surmise. The three play ex-hitmen who used to work for a capo named Claphands. His only son was killed by friendly fire in a bungled hit, and Pacino – who never ratted out the others – took the fall and just got sprung from prison after 28 years. Problem is, Claphands has ordered Walken to off Pacino on his first day of freedom – that’s the movie’s idea of deep meaning – so the reluctant Walken and the grandstanding Pacino spend one long last day together, revisiting their ex-madam’s daughter (Lucy Punch), who’s still in her family business, stealing clothes and prescription meds, and stopping at one particular diner about four times.