Monday, January 28, 2013
It's terrifying to contemplate that there may be a worse movie this year than the unspeakable "Movie 43," a dozen disconnected gross-out sketches in search of a brain cell. I beg you to peruse the cast list of this picture and imagine if you can conceive of a comedy with so much talent that never comes close to generating a laugh.
Within the first two minutes, Kate Winslet's Juliet arrives at a New York restaurant for a blind date with Hugh Jackman's Davis - who has two testicles coming out of his neck. (Only she notices this.) Five minutes later, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber (!) home-school their son by spray-painting "Kevin is a fag" in his bedroom and tripping him so that his books go flying.
I can only quote what Roger Ebert wrote of 1994's equally craptastic "North": "There is an idiocy here that seems almost intentional, as if the filmmakers plotted to leave anything of interest or entertainment value out of these episodes…I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."