The Canyons

"The Canyons" isn't as bad as you'd feared, or as bad as you'd hoped. But it is bad, flat not in the affectless way of good Bret Easton Ellis (the film's writer) but in Paul Schrader's directorial style and wooden performances by Lilo and porn king James Deen.

Scary Movie V

You'll search in vain for a laugh, a chuckle, even a smile in the DOA franchise-ender "Scary Movie V." Forget about a rental; this is the sort of movie you'd switch off on free TV. Were it a horse, they'd shoot it. You can smell the desperation with each insipid pop-culture reference, scatological joke, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan cameo. Last one out, turn off the lights